Letting Go

Sometimes, you just have to let go. 

It's not easy. I feel as if I was done very wrong. I feel as if a certain group of people took advantage of my kindness, and then threw me to the curb without so much as a thank you for your trouble. And I don't like that. I've held on to these feelings for a month. But then I think, who am I hurting? These people probably don't even think about what they have done, or me. They are, in a sense, strangers to me anyway. Why do I feel the need to avoid functions where they may be, in order to avoid them and their ways. What good am I doing to myself, them, or anyone else? What am I teaching my child in this case?

Too often we get caught up in our emotions. We are, after all, only human. But what do we do? Do we sit back and truly view the situation in an unbiased manner? Of course not! And typically, we seek out the advice of those we know will side with us. Again, we are human. We desire that validation, that group camaraderie that will say "I'm with you! They are bad! You are good! You are in the right!" But those are not always true tidings. We are not always in the good and right, are we? And then what? 

On another side, we worry. We fear. We dread. We seek the advice and counsel of those who have been there, and done that. But we are not them, and they are not us. Their experiences could have been vastly different for any number of reasons. About 3 years ago, my mom had to undergo a procedure a few months after I had had the same procedure. I told her to not worry about it at all, it was only painful for about 2 or 3 minutes-and then a little uncomfortable for about a half an hour after that. Well, she went in thinking it wasn't that bad and she ended up in severe pain for 3 or 4 DAYS! She is not me, and I am not her. My experience is different. 

Today I sit here contemplating. I was wronged but a group, but I do not feel as if they went out of their way to wrong me. They took advantage of my help and my kindness, and let their own greed get the better of them. I also sit here with medicine changes from a new doctor, and I'm fearful of starting one because I've heard others have had unpleasant side effects that lasted anywhere from a couple of days to even years. Why am I doing this to myself? Why beat myself up because of what others have done to me? Why be worried about a medicine I've yet to even take myself? I could take it, and be just fine! I won't know until I do, and I won't be able to truly "let go" until I forgive the others. I need to just hand all of this over to God, and let him take care of it for me. He's bigger than me...He can handle for more than I.