Friday, July 29, 2016

Full on truth.

How do you handle stress? I'm finding I don't handle it as well as I should. Mr. B is being transferred to one of the best hospitals in the country. Actually, one of the best in the WORLD. I'm so very grateful for this. God has put into motion for him to be seen by one of the best doctors in the world for mtDNA issues, autism, and cyclic vomiting-which is his newest diagnosis. So why am I still stressing? It's called Chronic Stress Disorder. My body has the stress hormones constantly flowing, 24/7 anymore. I need stress relief. I need to find a hobby, other than medical research. I need to find time for myself to just exist without needing to make potentially life or death decisions for my child, or deal with all that comes with special needs parenting. I need to relax, have fun. I need....ice cream. And Chocolate. But no calories, because that's not fun. I need a vacation. A REAL vacation. you know, where you plan an out of town trip for the sole purpose to relax and have fun! This is what I need. This is what my son needs. He needs a special trip that doesn't involve a doctor's appointment, or needles, or tests, or evaluations. He needs me to not be stressing. I was up until 3am over a panic attack because he got up out of bed at 10:30pm because he said he was hot. Yes, a panic attack because he said he was hot. Why? Because him saying he's hot usually results in a trashcan full of vomit and him passed out for 10-12 hours afterwards. This is the dirty truth of special needs parenting. IT'S HARD!

I was at the deli 2 days ago, asking how fresh the "off the bone ham," Mr. B's personal favorite, was. It was opened 2 days prior. Now, for most that'd be fine. Shave it up! But not for us. And of course, I get the odd "she's just being overly picky" looks from the deli workers and other patrons. I nervously explained that my son had some health issues and I couldn't risk less than fully fresh deli meats right now. One of the other ladies who was waiting paused a bit, and then she asked me if she had heard me correctly. Long story short, but she said she would keep us in her prayers and add our names to a prayer meeting she was on her way to attending. I can't tell you how much I appreciated this kind gesture from a complete stranger. She listened to our story, told me God was always with us, and asked if she could pray for us. OF COURSE! Prayer is always, ALWAYS welcome. And....prayer is always, ALWAYS needed.

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