Thursday, June 16, 2016
We most certainly can blame parents.
I generally try to avoid controversial topics on my blog, preferring to keep it a happy neutral zone for all to enjoy. With that said, Matt Walsh posted an article that I have to agree, but disagree at the same time. Playing Devil's Advocate for a moment: We seem to have entered into an age where parents have become mere vessels of worldly enter, with no "blame" placed on them for anything that has to do with their child. A kid goes in and shoots up a school, not the parents fault-even though their room and PC were both full of plans, etc. Kid gets away from his mom long enough to fall into a gorilla pit, not her fault even though he was gone long enough to fall before she knew he was gone. Little boy is tragically killed in a no swimming area-beside his dad-but it's not the parents' fault for allowing him in a posted no swimming area anyway. When is it the parents' fault? When their lax rules concerning drugs and alcohol lead their child to a drug overdose? When their push for attention gathering clothing and "boys boys boys" mentality delivers them an early grandchild? When they leave their child in a hot car because they are too focused on other things? I don't understand any of this. Yes, ALL of us have had things that "could have" ended far worse than they did. And it would have been our fault. My son could have died in a clothes dryer at 2 because he was hiding from me. It would have been MY fault for not watching him better. I was distracted, but still yet it would have been my fault. If I am a distracted driver and I wreck and kill someone, the insurance deems it as my fault. An accident yes, but still there is fault. He could have died in a hot car because his dad and I were arguing in the midst of our divorce. We put him in the car so he didn't have to hear us, and I did not double check to make sure the air was turned on. It was only by the grace of God his dad happened to notice him slumping over in the backseat that we got him out in time. Do you know who was to blame? We were! It was our fault. An accident yes, and an accident that could happen to anyone at any time, but still our fault. My son was a runner (autism) when he was a toddler. He got away from me and ran more than 1/4 mile into the woods before I was able to find him. It was my fault for not having a better a hold on him. That doesn't mean I intentionally allowed it to happen, but by owning that blame it helped me to never make that same mistake again. By constantly taking the taking the stance that the parents aren't at fault because it could happen to anyone at any time downplays the need for parents to remain vigilant for their children. It creates an atmosphere where parents are too busy on their phones, snapping pictures and trying to get the most likes to hold on to their tiny little curious explorers, who just happen to fall into a gorilla pit. It allows parents to ignore posted safety signs, because it's not their fault they chose to wade 10ft out into a Florida water source at night when they clearly were not supposed to do so. When do we draw the line as a society and say yes, parents...it is your fault? When a young mom makes rather poor choices in partners and her boyfriend beats her child senseless while she is at work, blame is placed on her. When a busy mom leaves her kid in the car and it dies a horrible death, she gets sympathy pats on the back? I don't understand the difference. When a mom is preoccupied and her child is kidnapped, is it the mother's fault for allowing her daughter to "walk to the walmart McDonalds" with a strange man her mother has just met in the shoe aisle when the man kills the little girl? When is it the parents' fault?